On that day was August 16th, 1999. In the evening before my little mama Sabina Lourdes said that early tomorrow morning little mama and papa Paulino together with mama’s youngest sister Mena would leave for Atelari with my little mama Lidya Lourdes along with her husband and all their children.
Mama said that I couldn’t go because my father was an ABRI member at that time. The situation in the city of Dili has been chaotic since March 1999. How is it possible that I will live alone with my older cousin and I am the only woman.
I just kept quiet and felt like I was going to cry because I didn’t know where our family was going to Atelari, located in area 1 PontaLeste, where Grilya was at that time. How could little mama let me live alone because I was often afraid of the sound of guns and getting sick at that time.
Quiet until the early hours of the morning, everyone was in preparation to leave for Atelari, just waiting for little mama Lidya, a brave woman with her husband and children. I took a shower and was about to go to school. At that time I was only 16 years old, sitting in the third grade of junior high school at State Junior High School 3 Becora Dili Timor-Leste.
When I was about to leave my mother still said, don’t be afraid here we only go four or five days after the party we go home so Dev takes care our house, right? I felt like crying because I wanted to go along at that time, it was only dangerous for my father because of my father’s profession as a member of ABRI.
I then stepped up and went to school after saying goodbye to my little mother and father. While I was on my way to school, I thought about why I was forbidden to participate in this thing, I am also a child of the land, I said to myself.
Arriving at school, I just wanted to cry from the public highway to school at that time, I just thought again my friends. Arriving at school there was no one there so I stepped into the school area while waiting for my best friends, Agung Ayu Maryati, Herlina, Ana Perreira, Clarita and Elsa as well as others. school guard at SMP 3 Becora Dili East Timor at that time. Good morning Mr Semi! Morning Dev, why do you look so rushed Dev? Ask Mr. Semi. Yes, Mr. Semi, I’m waiting for Ayu and Herlina and other close friends, but they haven’t all arrived yet. So where are you going now? I want to send greetings to my friends, especially to Ayu and Herlina, Clarita and the others. Where are you going? Ask again, Mr. Semi, the school guard.
Hmm, I want to go somewhere, Mr. Semi, I answered. Which place? It’s better to finish the ceremony first, said Mr. Semi. It’s not too late for me to go home because there are no other students yet. OK, but tell me first where you are going. In my heart I wanted to go home because the situation was no longer safe at that time. But I didn’t know what to say, I answered Mr. Semi differently. I want to go to the forest, Mr. Semi with a very loud voice.
Mr. Semi was shocked and scared and immediately came towards me, Dev, what are you saying! Do you want to go to the forest? What are you looking for in the forest? Hmm, I’m not looking for a star, Mr. Semi, but I want to meet Mr.Lere Anan Timur (LAT) while shouting loudly in Mr. Semi’s ear at that time. Mr. Semi said Dev, are you looking for death? There is the principal Gabriel Budiharto in the office when he hears that your history is finished, Dev. It’s a matter, but if the principal hears or finds out, that means Mr. Semi is the one who reported me because Mr. Semi also wants me to die before the independence of my land. Oh, you’re such a chatterbox, okay, don’t say that, the situation isn’t good, that’s why I’m giving you advice, if you want to go, just go, then I’ll say hello to your friends, Dev. Promise me, Mr. Semi. Yes, leave immediately so that no one hears our conversation.
I went straight home, not wanting to go to Atelari, but because I was afraid I wanted to go home because my family would be meeting him.
In the middle of the journey, I suddenly burst into tears because everyone was leaving, just me and my two cousins. At that time I just thought about when they would come home because I was afraid of the sound of guns. When I returned home I saw that little mama and papa had not left. My little mama felt sorry for me because I was alone so she asked do you want to come? I didn’t answer and immediately shouted hooray because I was happy. Little Papa said when he arrived at the top of Atelari, don’t go too far from Mama because there were lots of people there. Come on, go change, and get your clothes. I just pulled on jeans and a shirt, then with school shoes and a blue skirt. My sister Ina we hugged each other because I was coming too.
Mama Lidya said, just go. Hanga Mama Sabina answered, sister, I’m afraid someone will see our child and tell our sister what to do. True, but this child wants it, right? Come on, let’s get on and let’s go.
Turning to leave, we stopped in front of the cooperative office. In the Indonesian era, suddenly there was news that Uncle Acasi had a wife who had committed suicide by hanging herself. Mama Sabina answered that if we had hanged ourselves, what would we do, we in this car were just feeling sad because we immediately left because the situation was unsafe.
The car continued towards MotaUlun Terminal. Our family escaped and on the way I just kept quiet and was careful. We arrived in Manatuto and stopped for a while at little Zanibal’s house because there was a family who wanted to come too.
Happy while singing we continued our journey to Baucau. Arriving in Baucau we stopped for lunch. We all ate ramerame then I changed my skirt into jeans.
After eating we continued our journey to Laga, I didn’t know what party I was going to at that time, what I clearly heard was in the forest in Atelari.
Arriving near the match, someone gave information that there were too many people in Atelari so they wanted to return to Waimori. Continue the journey until you are right in Laga District, suddenly the car takes the right lane. I’m confused where is Atelari? I asked myself.
Little Mama said, when you arrive at Atelari, don’t walk around afraid that someone will go and report that you are with us at Atelari. Then your big brother’s life in Lospalos will be threatened. Okay mom answered me.
arriving at one village we checked one by one because it was safe with mother Lydia and father Zanibal so we passed through Sagadate Village at that time. We checked the points several times until we arrived at Atelari Village. We were checked again by people who all had long hair and mustaches.
We were finally declared safe and passed and the car headed towards the river because arriving at Atelari we still had to cross the river and get to the top of Nautetu where the guerrillas were. 1 Ponta-Leste Settles. When we got to the top we all got down and walked because there were really a lot of people there at that time.
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